It is not the first time in my life when being social is literary being a stupid. I dislike when people say, “you need to be social, this keeps you happy. Interacting with other people, sharing your thoughts, ideas, success or failures and blah blah blah.” Seriously, is that what you think keeps me happy?
I was sad and depressed because something didn’t work out, something I had been trying since long, something I liked and wished strong to happen, but it didn’t. And because it didn’t happen, I am unhappy. Now, if I listen to people who say the above stuff (in italics), I should join a party and socialize. Well, it isn’t the best suggestion for someone like me, still why not give it a try. I go in a party, people are dancing around, happy, cheerful, talking with their friends, some of them are bitching some of them are just dressed like Angelina Jolie to have hot guys, some of them are overdressed and some under-dressed. Some starring at me, because I am wearing a jeans and a T-shirt. Some are even pointing at me saying ‘I’m poor and didn’t had any party dress’. Some just look at my feet because I just walked in with my Puma runners into this Big Fat party.
After a stressful entrance, I see a friend of mine, in the middle of this over dressed, pretending and chattering crowd. It brings a smile to my face and I, for a moment am almost in favor of that ‘being social’ suggestion. Before I completely fall in the trap of agreeing,
she hugs me and says, “oh dear, I am sorry but you look so pissed off. Look at you, poor girl, what went wrong. Looks like you’re starving, almost like dying..dry lips, no lipstick..oh you didn’t even get time to dress yourself up .. 😦 ..”
ME: talking to myself, there she have me and all my emotions screwed up … but with a smile I try to ignore answering her question, because God damn its my life and its personal.
But she, won’t leave any chance to have my space. 10 mintues later she would repeat again, “oh dear, you can share it with, I am sure I can help you”.
ME: talking again to myself – seriously, I’m in a BIIIIG problem and I want to have a drink, alone, and then if I feel better I will come to you.. …. but with a smile, I reply, “thanks again, but I’d like to leave.
and this is where, out of the blue, I am in the whirlpool of 10 different people, some with drinks and some to dance with me, some laughing at me and some just starring me but, in common, all surrounding me.
ME: Is this really happening with me? I mean, the failure I wanted to get rid of was way much smaller and less disaster infront of this comic-weird epic happening with me.
Somehow, I keep myself calm, not abusing (from within) those people who suggested me to BE SOCIAL to BE HAPPY, I plan to leave from this unexpected happy bubble making trouble for me. The moment I am out, I take a deep breath and walk towards my room. After having a walk alone in fresh air I feel great and pick up my phone to put an alarm to get up next day and work out something to solve my main problem, and guess, what is the first thing I see in my Inbox?? — 10 unread messages, 4 mails and 15 missed calls PLUS a big update on my fb wall, “hey, come on, that’s why you don’t get things worked out, because you don’t socialize. Come over sometime and have a drink.”
I closed my eyes, “Oh My Dear Holy Super Amazing GOD, what did just happen??” and unbelievably, I receive an answer, “You wouldn’t have asked this question, had you socialized!”